Sunday, April 10th, 2011
If you noticed my blog post title, it comes from a song that won an Oscar called “It’s hard out there for a pimp”. But I feel like it’s really hard to be a romantic in America sometimes because you don’t see a lot of happy couples here. Everywhere I look, in the news, on the web, in music, they’re talking about break-ups and people cheating on each other. It’s disheartening.
I’m old enough to know that life is not going to be like in a Disney movie but I don’t understand why American romantic comedies encourage people to cheat on each other. Did you guys notice that too? There’s this idea that the person you’re with is not good enough and that the grass is always greener on the other side is being promoted heavily in movies. That’s why I stop watching romantic comedies/dramas because I don’t find infidelity funny. I don’t find it funny that people say “I’ll love you forever” or “I’m always yours” so easily and then broke their promises. I don’t find it funny when people disrespect their partners by checking out other people or flirting with other people. I find it sad when people give up on each other without trying to work things out. I hate it when people try to force their agendas on their partners without listening or understanding.
When I watch a typical American Romantic comedy, there is a lot of sex, alcohol, swearing, cheating, breaking up, girls who dress provocatively so that guys have an excuse to cheat on their partners because you know, who can resist hot girls?! You will see guys who are shown as being married or in a relationship hit on other women and it is seen as being normal and common. Why is that? Why so much vulgar language? Why so much violence and sex?
You hardly see happily married couples in movies. The only movie I’ve seen so far last year that celebrates true love was “UP” and it’s a Disney movie! We hardly hear about couples who have successful relationships or doing incredible things for each other. However, we see divorces, people having affairs and teen pregrenancies on daily basis. It scares me sometimes how people just can’t commit to one person for more than a few years or even less in most cases. I’m not saying commitment should be a choice for everyone but I wish I see more happy couples being highlighted in the media.
I love being a romantic and I will always be one forever. I would send hand-written love letters, daily emails with cute photos that I found, mixed CD with love songs, spending hours at Hallmark finding the perfect card, etc for my last boyfriend but they weren’t appreciated very much.
For me, when I love someone, I never think about anyone else except him and I don’t care who else is out there. I don’t care how smart, handsome, rich or successful they are. And the only reason I will ever marry someone is for love and I’ll be committed both emotionally and physically for life. That’s the definition of love for me.
Do you think I’m being unrealistic in my search for love? What do you think about today’s romantic comedies in general? Are they depressing to you as they are to me?
I would love to hear your thoughts! xxooxxoxoo
Congrats for your new post! It is all true! Actually now that I read the article make me wonder that is true, in movies there are always cheating even when a person loves the one he has! It is not aesy telling someone that you love him, or that you will be together forever. I think it needs time for that! Promisses like that are really important to me! There is nothing wrong with your idea of love! In different ages we love and the idea of love changes! The important thing is that when we love someone as much as they do us we should give the best! It feels good feeling that someone loves you as much as you do! The picture is really cute!
http://kikisbookofdreams.blogspot.com/
Love, Kiki
noooo my dear u’re being completely realistic, but just like me u’re way out of our time,unfortunately…it’s like the real values are not appreciated anymore…nor the true love,nor being moral…and it’s not only in America,it’s everywhere….in my country as well,how many break-ups and divorces i saw and heard for recently,i could never thought something like that could happen to some couples…
i adore this post of yours,one of the best ones i have to say!:) and u should stay romantic,that’s completely u!!i love u and appreciate u because of that!!:)
kisses
http://glamfabchameleon.blogspot.com/
I think this was all so well said! I don’t think you are being unrealistic, there are amazing guys out there who deserve you so don’t change!
I think the reason why people do all sorts of crazy stuff that result in tensions in relationships is because they are not compatible in the first place. It’s like putting petrol in a diesel engine – it’ll run for a while with no problems but all of a sudden, it’ll break down beyond repair and you’ll have to get a new car because the cost of repair will be to high.
That’s how I see all relationships. It must add up, otherwise there will always be breakups and divorces because the person you thought you knew, is not the person they are right now. Never change your personality to please someone because sooner or later, the REAL McCoy is gonna come out and things will get complicated…
Compatibility and is key.
I don’t think you’re being unrealistic at all. You just expect someone to love and respect you wholly and that is what you deserve. Love is hard and isn’t always chocolates and flowers and “I love you” – sometimes relationships break down simply because they do. But when you find The One for you it’s worth all the pain.
Keep smiling and don’t give up on love!! xo
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I went through here just to give you a kiss good week-end and I yielded to this post … fantastic as always . Kisses;)
you are so romantic!
i’m sure that you find your love in the right moment:-)
hope you have a great Sunday, i have to work:-(
but just for a few hours!
xoxo
Second that dear!
And yeh I agree that there are not so many happyending couples in movies/songs.
Like in those Asian drama’s, mostly of them are sad endings. Like someone has to die – wether the girl or the boy and noooo they can’t die together. So so sad & frustrating..
xxx
What an amazing photo!
X
Start dreaming on dreamingthedayawaywithluca.blogspot.com
Yeah, I know what you mean… I’m always astounded at how quickly celebs seem to hook up with someone else after breaking up with the “love of their life”. I’m single and half-heartedly looking for someone but it’s hard when you get to my age!! By the way, I made a CD for a guy once with my perfume on it, and it was very appreciated, so it just depends on the guy I suppose…
Every single piece of what you wrote it true! Love seems kind of meaningless these days! I would indeed love to believe in love, but somehow I always end up disappointed. I hardly watch comedies at all, since I don’t find them to be that funny, but I don’t watch romantic ones either, since they feel unrealistic! My view of love is messed up to say the least. I know I shouldn’t even tell you this… but my father and my stepmother has been together throughout my entire life, I was merely 11 months when they met each other. This may seem romantic in every way, that they’ve been married for over 17 years, but a paper always has two sides… This is what I am getting to prove your sticking together theory wrong (I mean I highly doubt that you mean sticking together and working it out when the other person is being cheating on, physically and mentally abused and not to mention threatened!) as you can see my view of all of this i messed up, was so! And the person who gave birth to me.. well she is desperately trying to find someone, and is hooking up with different people every week, you’re getting my point, aren’t you!? I so deeply want to believe in love, and meeting the perfect one and living happily ever after but I don’t believe in either of that! I simply can’t, things to eff-ed up! Great post though! xoxo Nathalie
xoxo Gossip Girl
imaginary-high-heels.blogspot.com
No, I was like you… until I found my man. He isn’t perfect, that’s true, but I love love love him. That’s the most important thing, in my opinion.
Great post xxx
I ‘m totaly agree with you ! Now in american movies, for exemple the movie “No strings attached” , they show that we must have sex with someone (a friend or anybody) and then we find love ! It’s ridiculous !
Nowadays , It’s hard to find someone who will love you .There are few people who go out with someone just to be with her or him. Now it’s out to sleep with …
It’s hard! I am a romantic girl too !
Nice article !
gorgeous 🙂
thanks for sharing!! x
Awwww, I am a romantic too!
Lovely post, darling!
xoxox,
CC
I definitely agree; there’s so much infidelity going on – esp when celebrities do it; it just sends a message that it’s okay. I’m a romantic too & share the same values; I’m just glad my boyfriend feels the same way.
what a beautiful post darling, im glad to hear what you think
i love just staying up chatting with my boyfriend, and going for long walks together,, but really when i have the most fun and when i feel we have it the best, is when we travel together.. and i really want to do that soon.
hope you’re enjoying your weekend.it’s finally warmer here now.. so happy for that
xxx
wow!, sooo very well-written, sooo beautifully put, sooo eloquently expressed!!! Shin, indeed, you have the heart & soul of a poet, and sincerely have gotta be one of the world’s all-time-greatest, “true romantics!” 😀
i really agree wholeheartedly with ev’rything you’ve said; and, it is truly a bit befuddling how our society & culture for the most part, does seem to have really been “taken in…, sucked in…” to such a great & near total degree by “slicky packaged” patterns presented prevalently by the movie & cinematic industry for our entertainment.
and how i so wish, but realize perhaps a bit unrealistic, that more of our ev’ryday conversations, verbal communications could be of such subject matter. however, and unfortunately, it seems, even the ubiquitous tv talkshows & our churches & places of worship hardly ever even begin to broach this topic, beyond possibly some casual mention. makes one think or ponder if theres’ some sorta conspiracy, pact w/the devil to keep real romance from ever takin’ “true root…,” “truly blossoming…,” & “truly transforming…,” our world into an “utterly beautiful & magical” place! 😀
i know…, i know…, but we can continue, keep dreamin’, right!?! allow me to share seeming appropos couple poems i composed a while back, in contemplative mode of similar subject matter. if/when, Shin i eventually get them published, i believe i’m gonna dedicate them to ya, Sweetheart (if ok?), for your inspiringly romantic soul, heart, & spirit! 😀
——-paradise (lost) found ——
human love, is somewhat, alike a flower
so very beautiful, delicate, bit frail –
and we must try hard, to do our best
to tend it, ever, so carefully, and not fail…
to help it, to truly grow, and blossom
to reach, wow, its most wondrous degree –
yeess, helping to create the paradise
this world of ours, is really meant, to be!!!
(to be…, or not to be…, that is the question!?)
——- eyes of love ——-
take a good look, all around
and jus’ behold, if you will –
how, with love, in your heart
there is such, this wondrous appeal…
to even, life’s plain & simple
and then, you shall have, the key –
to transforming, yes, all of your world
into a lovely jewel, of precious beauty!!!
(yeeess!, “sweet love…,” is truly the answer!)
I’m romantic. Without romanticism the love is nothing, dear.
even tho i have a boyf now, i still dont rly trust love 🙁
Answer: oh thank you! you´re so sweet 🙂 hugs! /matilda
I don’t think you’re being unrealistic. I’m a little bit complicated about love things so I completely understand your doubts and thoughts.
love,
Vicky
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aw thank you!!! and i totally agree with your idea of love, i’m such a hopeless romantic, nothing else matters when i love someone…the heart wants what it wants, right?
Hm….very insightful post Shin. I have to say im a romantic at heart too but it’s sad when we give all we have and do everything in the best interest of out partners and it’s not appreciated. That is the worst! All we ask for is love right? Pretty simple but yet not.
It really is a sad world out there and i wish there were more couples that could stay loyal and honest to each other. I was watching this French movie called Beautiful Lies” (starring Audrey Tautou) yesterday with my BF and this old couple were sitting next to me, and i just couldn’t stop but have a smile on my face. Hope we see more couples like this:)
I really agree on not tossing words around esp i love you and etc. People nowadays do it all too often, they’ve been numbed by it, i reckon,lol.
Anyway, i guess we shall keep hoping for the best in humanity and that we get what deserve in love:D
Enjoy your weeknd and hope you get lucky and have a romantic one too,hehe
Cinz
http://cinzee.wordpress.com
We live in different countries far apart, but I can agree with how movies from the U.S. shows a side of relationships that are’nt good or true in reality. Males are often produced in the movies as a bit “stupid”, like they cant resist “the hot girl”. I think it’s so wrong!
Your vision of romance is about the same as mine. I’m not at all romantic, but if I find a guy I think I’ll do everything to make it work ang not give up as soon as it’s not perfect. I have had some boyfriends but hav’nt find the right one yet… but when I do… I’ll put my heart and my soul in it. If it really feels right…
My parents have been together for 35 years, so I really believe that love can last! 🙂
You are most certainly not being unrealistic. You are a romantic and you will find the perfect person who compliments you. It will happen! It is only a matter of time.
I agree that you hardly ever see happy couples in movies. But again, is this art imitating life? How many perfectly happy couples do you know?? Plus, I doubt people would want to go to a movie about the normal stable perfectly happy couple who just cooed at each other for 2 hours. Gosh, my cynicism is showing!! But, that said, I’m still a romantic at heart.
No, you are not unrealistic and you should stick to your beliefs. I stopped a long time ago to watch American romantic comedies. American movies in general have so little to say these days. As you say, I can not believe how vulgarity can be considered funny today. And I turn to classic movies, movies which really taught you something and used so many subtle, meaningful ways to do that. And it’s a shame, because the cinema has a great power and could help shape up an education. Ada
Awww! No, my fellow romantic, of course you’re not unrealistic. They call us hopeless romantics, but hey, we’re the most hopeful people ever. It’s not unrealistic to expect a good man who will love and appreciate you for who you are, and who will never look at another woman in the same way he looks at you. Sure, maybe expecting a knight in shining armor to sweep you off your feet might not quite happen, but once you find the right guy, he’ll be even better than that knight. I too am so annoyed by all the infidelity…not in movies though. I get riled up over books. You know those novels about Hollywood celebs…you know, those glossy books full of love, lust and betrayal (haha, ok yes, I dolove reading books like that)? There’s always some shallow guy that goes for the beauties and who hops between girls. I know it’s all just fiction and the author is intentionally making the guy seem like a jerk, but I still can’t help get frustrated when I read how “normal” cheating has become. And books like those by Phillipa Gregory (one of my fave authors), even show that cheating was normal back in the English courts. Wow, am I even making sense anymore? lol
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You’re not being unrealistic at all. My fiance and I had our eyes meet from across a bar (so cliche I know) and we’ve been inseperable since. We love each other immensely.
While love isn’t always perfect — when you’re with the right one, if’ pretty close.
Be true to who you are and the needs your heart and soul crave. You’ll find the man you’re looking for.
In Fashion and Style
I think the same. But that happens not only in the United Stated, the entire occidental culture is full of fakers and people who doens’t know what the real love means.
Maybe we are fighting agains all that people, but I prefer to be a romantic one that been a lier or a heartbraeker. Maybe we bornd in the wrond period dont you think?
See you seetie, have a nice week 🙂
I totally agree with you. In this day and age we have a lot more freedom and feel a lot more entitled than people used to so of course having more freedom in our relationships makes it easier for us to take fidelity for granted. It’s a lot easier to move on to the next thing than to work on what you have. I consider myself a romantic too, but happy couples don’t make good tv so I guess we don’t see it representd enough. Don’t give up being a romantic though!
I love this post! I feel the same way, and I’m so glad other people do too. It’s disheartening, disgusting really, to see how men treat their spouses/girlfriends in the media. And women do the same thing. When I see it in real life, girls at school who cheat on their boyfriends or boys at school who stare when girls wear slutty outfits–it just kills me! Can’t anyone love anyone else for personality, for pure love? And why do some people constantly feel tempted by other girls/guys out there? It’s really sad. In the U.S. divorces are sooo common. I’m still a teenager, but I worry how I’ll find a nice boyfriend, let alone a husband! Ah, I know it’s far off, but I don’t think it’s unrealistic at all to want someone who loves you equally for the rest of your life. Yay for romantics! (by the way, handwritten love letters are so sweet)
This is such a huge subject. I can just drop a couple of lines though.
Couples often fail because romance was fake since the beginning!
You can’t just be romantic.
It’s not just a habit or behavior. True romance is a state, and you are there when you are really in love, and then everything is more promising. If all those feelings are in return, BANG you got it!
I wish you that!!!!!!!
xoxoxo
That’s not unrealistic, that’s what’s love is supposed to be! 🙂 When I truly love someone, I want to tell him in every possible ways!
And most romantic comedies are just bulls*it!
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I understand how you feel, it is hard to find love but it is out there and not everyone cheats, or dresses slutty or treats each other badly. Kyle and I have been together for 9.5 yrs! And I love him more than I can express. It sucks that there are so many negative movies and TV shows about it too. I think a good movie you should watch is “Because I said so”. The lead actress fails at love but then finds two guys that are interested in her and starts dating both, in the end, she learns her lesson and it has an overall good ending, and the other characters in the movie are great. I love that you did this post, it is something that goes unnoticed in America.
So true! I really think it’s annoying that there has to be a sex scene in every.single.movie. Really? I’d like to sit down and watch a film with my parents without having to feel uncomfortable during raunchy sex!
Absolutely stunning photo!
I am a TOTAL romantic, the photo you posted makes my heart melt. I think it is very depressing for a romantic, too, for exactly the same reasons. But, movies and the media pretty much only broadcast the negatives about everything and that is a real shame because it’s not an accurate portrayal of reality. I think we all can have a fairy tale happy ending and find a prince charming and shouldn’t settle for anything less than butterflies… it just requires a bit of patience and a lot of faith <3
http://www.makemesparkly.blogspot.com
You can’t be more correct, girl! You just shared what I have been believing in my heart! It is just sickening how easy people give out promises and not even thinking of carrying through. I now believe that promises are just words unless they are actually being carried out. If not, there’s no point of promising each other anything. Also, divorces are becoming like a backup. If things don’t work out, just leave, no need to mend anything or try to SAVE anything. What kind of relationship is this going to be if you can ditch when things get tough??
I understand it’s hard to be a romantic out there but we need that sparks in order to start a relationship. How to keep your other half as “romantically-involved” as we do? That’s the challenge. We can be the greatest lovers in the world but both have to equally willing to put an effort into the relationship in order to keep that fire going. Just like me, I was putting lots of effort to keep the fire going but my ex didn’t want anything more. So he left. I think it’s always crucial to find someone who is willing to stay in order to be romantic together.
xoxo
what an amazing and inspiring post you got !
I feel you girl, it’s puts a damper on everything, kinding making us all frantic/paranoid about relationships. It’s like the notion of fidelity is blurred and not taken so seriously anymore.
I’ve always felt that way honestly. It is disgusting having to watch couples cheat on each other all over the place. They make it seem okay when you watch SATC, it’s sad :'( Every one should find true love and to not be cheated on or toyed with.
Wida
Missing Amsie Blog
Your totally right, the film industry sells what it can, and well, that is sex. i dont know whos fault it is really since time after time again, people preffer and show up to that type of movies. Realistically, i think its hard to have a lasting marriage but if you know what you are looking for and stand your ground, you’ll get what you want.
<3
Great post Shin! You sound just like myself 🙂 But lately, especially after I got married, I stoped analyzing everything I hear and see on TV because otherwise I’d go crazy. You’ll see…you’ll find the man you love, your other half, and you won’t care about anything no more. All that matter is you two!
When you love someone so much, you don’t think about cheating, or flirting with someone else…only the ones who are trapped in relationships without love do that!
Oh…my favourite movie is The Notebook 🙂
xoxoxo
Ana
Who does not like being awake so with much sensuality and glamor … I loved the post;)
I think breakfast and bed would get me ramped up enough to try one of these gorgeous looks.