Wednesday, October 5th, 2011
Did you know what makes the front page of Huffington Post today? It’s called “Why all marriage should have an expiration date”. I was immediately turned off by the title and then feel disgusted after I read it. The author, Delia Lloyd argued that happily married couples are a minority and that marriage should have a renewable contract. In Mexico, they’re proposing a temporary marriage license (minimum two years) and only extend it if the couple are happy together. Do you see how ridiculous this sounds? How can you be 100 % be in love with someone who believes in this kind of arrangement?
I sometimes find it puzzled whenever I read that people who believe in marriage are being called old-fashioned. I believe in marriage and I believe in commitment, loyalty and ideal love. I don’t think they’re unrealistic expectations. Yes, I’m a hopeless romantic but I’m not naive or impractical. It takes work to make a relationship last for a long time and it can be challenging at times as people evolve. However, a lot of the times, I feel that the media is always showing us movies where someone is always cheating! Why is that? Just imagine, for a second here, that if we’re always surrounded by movies and music that tells us how wonderful it is to be with someone you love for the rest of your life? How wonderful it is to surprise your significant other with thoughtful gifts? Affection? Kindness? Imagine if all we hear about is how couples are celebrating their wedding anniversaries? How do you think what our society will be like if most of what we see or hear is love? A genuine LOVE? It will have a dramatic effect on how people think about love and marriage in general. A society where cheating is unheard of and unacceptable and if you are found as a cheater, your reputation is destroyed beyond repair and you will never be able to show your face in your community. A society where you are only able to enter into a relationship when you mean what you say and must keep your vows no matter the circumstances. Do I dream much? Possibly. But wouldn’t it be amazing to live in that world?
As for me, if I’m in a relationship and if I say I love that person forever, I mean it and I keep my word. Marriage should not be based on a contract. It should be based on unconditional love and a lifelong commitment. If I do get marry one day, it will be because I found someone who believes in the same things I do and someone who keeps his word. No contract required.
This is what I want my marriage to be like:
What are your thoughts on the article? Do you think marriage should have a contract? I’d love to know! xoxoxoxo
Cute! But so sad in the end 🙁
/Anna
Beautiful!:-))
I agree with your opinion and this video is so cute and so sad at the end…
My views on marriage and love has changed so much recently, but I agree that love is not a contract… xx
Oh dear! That video made me smile and at the end I wanted to cry. I do believe and live actually in love!
I would never sign a contract, that is soooooooooo bad. If anyone thinks that there might be a possibility in the end to have a lawsuit then that is enough not to continue with the relationship.
We all dream of the perfect partner but we are faaaaar from perfect ourselves!
It is all based on giving and receiving, on supporting and understanding but not in demanding and expecting.
Now, about media…
pure love and happiness is advertised as boring and dull because people are happy with little things and possessions. . On the other hand, chasing always different lovers or cheating are compatible to buying impressive clothing, cars, yachts in order to seduce, so the market lives on.
Entertainment is all about selling products related to them.
I had been working as a production manager in TV commercials for 7 years and trust me, I know. Even the news is a well directed show.
So, don’t let them market love as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish you all the love you can get dear Shin!
I wholeheartedly agree with you – why get married if you can re-think it in 2 years – live together – marriage is hard at times but i think we give up too easily, we dont make enough effort and cheating is just not that bad – well none of that is acceptable to me – i love my man with all my heart and have done for nearly 20 years but there are definitely times i dont like him that much – then again there are times i dont like me that much too – you hang in there and you said the most valid thing when you said have the same values – so important – so underrated xx
http://fashionandfrank.blogspot.com/
i do believe in marriage too..
and i agree with you.
as for me, every relationship should end up with marriage.
that’s why we have to really know the one we are about to marry before marriage.
marriage is not a test.
he he
marriage should definitely not have a contract, that is ludicrous!
you’re right, love is not a contract but give you some rights that you can’t have without it!
it’s sad but true!
i live with my boyfriend from 4 years and i feel like a bride everyday.
🙂
xoxo
I totally agree with you!
Love this video, although it s kinda sad in the end!:(
What a horrible article. Why put that on the front of the newspaper? It’s such BS as well because marriage is not a contract at all. Then just don’t get married. There is still love out there and people can live together happily forever. My parents are married over 30 years and still going strong. And I know I will be married to my BF for just as long. No doubt in my mind. The woman who wrote the article clearly hasn’t found the one… sucks for her.
Belt Giveaway
Oh I so agree with you. Marriage is a life long commitment not a try it for a while and see if you like it sort of thing! Great post!!
No contract~ That would just be silly
The happily married to the love of my life,
LocalCeleb
http://www.localcelebz.blogspot.com
I really am, they’re a dime a dozen nowadays!
Amazing. I fully agree and believe in marriage too! That video montage gets me every.time.
LOVE LOVE! xox!
I totally agree with you. I think it’s ridiculous to make a contract for love?! And i love that movie haha but at the end of that video i almost had to cry because it’s so sad 🙁
You’re better than I am. I was so appalled that I couldn’t even read it. I was so angered. Why get married if you only want to do it for 2 years. Why not just stay in a relationship? Why go through all the hoops if it isn’t forever? Why pay all the money for a wedding if it’s just temporary? Urgh! Sorry, but that article really upset me!
that’s just ridiculous!!!
i’m so happy you wrote this blog though…
even though i haven’t had a relationship last longer than one month…i know that there is someone out there. if the institution of marriage has lasted this long–why stop now?
It’s definitely an interesting debate and I agree wholeheartedly with you, however I think we are becoming a minority. Marriage definitely isn’t for everyone and I think its sad that they are trying to make it so you can give it a test try for a while to see if you like it. In true love it won’t matter. Thank you for sharing, this is very interesting.
I totally agree with you!! I just got married about a month ago and I could not imagine going into the marriage thinking “oh we have two years and then we will decide if really want to be together”. That’s absolutely ridiculous! If you don’t know whether your marriage is going to work out with someone, don’t get married. I understand things happen that you can’t help or prevent, but most of the time you know.
You’re so right (and maybe I’m also being a hopeless romantic here) – marriage means commitment. Temporary marriages… eh? When you get married ‘temporarily’, it means that you’re not a 100% sure you’re willing to commit yourself to someone, and that you’re not entirely sure about your love for your partner. Articles like the one you describe make me really sad – why discourage something so beautiful?
Love, Lisa
Gracias por tu comentario
tu blog me encanto, que te parece si nos seguimos!
saludos
It sounds like the person who wrote this article just had their heart broken. If you do not believe in marriage that is fine, but what would the point of a temporary marriage be? To me, it does not make sense. I know that marriage is hard and it is a struggle and you have to give a lot: it is not an easy thing to do, but if you find the right person you can make it work. I totally agree with your opinion.
i guess it all comes down two people completely trusting each other unconditionally. if that trust is cracked or broken, then it is going to get bumpy and eventually end up in a break-up situation.
i think the trick is finding that someone that you can be silly and completely yourself around; then there will not be a need for all this two-year malarkey.
I found this article interesting too. A 2 years contract goes against what marriage even stands for. People should just date if that’s how they feel.
That’s just silly! Love that movie by the way…it is probably the cutest first 15 minutes of a movie I have ever seen!
xoxoxo
Adrienne
mygoldenmindset.blogspot.com
I believe in marriage. I’ve been the happiest while being married.
If you marry for love doesn’t a contract put a hole in the balloon?
Beautiful ! but so sad.
no contract… people should get married for the right reasons and not because it’s time, because they feel lonely or because they feel pressure… marry because you are having fun and enjoy every day with the person you’re with!
I read about that and feel the same way you do. It’s ridiculous that they even considered that. I love the movie UP. It had so much meaning. You’re correct in that is how marriage and relationships should be.
http://sassyuptownchic.blogspot.com/
SassyUptownChic xoxo Kim
I agree with your opinion. marriage as a contract is ridiculous. you’ve to marry for the right reasons, not because it’s “time” or because you feel pressure to do it, I think. x
Wonderful post, Shin! I believe in real love, in marriage and in constant dedication to make it work. It’s not unrealistic nor old-fashioned. But people are letting themselves be guided by wrong values.
Ada
I agree with you! I believe in marriage but for the right reasons, not making a contract!
I am following you! <3<3
Oh my, that is so stupid! I have never read something so stupid like the Delia’s text!
I agree with you 100% and I loooooved the video 🙂
hugs and kisses by Mani.
thank you ^-^
Is…interesting. Another point of view… I respect everything and who knows…each person is a world and each relation too!
makingfashionnotwar.blogspot.com
Opinions aside, the rate of divorces occurring in the states is increasing as we pull ourselves out of this economic rutt (I think I read an article published by the CDC somewhere). The reasons that people get a divorce are too many to talk about here, and I completely disagree with the priest claiming that marriage is easy to get while divorces are too difficult. I mean, perhaps he meant relative to one another, but nowadays, you can file a no-fault legislation that makes it pretty easy to pretend as if that marital contract never happened.
I believe it isn’t idealistic to find hope in the fact that if and when you are married, your marriage will last through thick and thin like your vows claim. I don’t believe Delia Lloyd is trying to condemn the marriage institution to something as base as a summer fling, but in fact, she is merely saying that happily married couples are a minority (almost in her exact wording there). I would like to think that the American population is a little smarter than to be brainwashed by a few chickflicks, but perhaps I’m being too idealistic now. All the Disney movies I watched as a child should actually teach me that running away with a rebel or disobeying my parents to see a boy they disapprove of is something of value. But here I am, 22, and I’ve never done either. It’s up to the individual to form their own opinions about everything, including marriage and commitment within their own relationship. It is like Malkom X said, “The media’s the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, and that’s power. Because they control the minds of the masses.”
I suppose I am a bit “disgusted” with the growing culture of divorce if that’s what you meant to say. But people like to jump head first into things, and the process of divorce is a way of letting people fix their problem or mistake. There isn’t anything in this country that isn’t fixable with money and time anymore. Which is the entire basis of why America is deemed so great. We have a lot of freedom to marry, divorce, criticize who we please because it is within our RIGHTS. A lot of other countries do not emphasize the individualistic mindset as heavily as the US, and therefore when a woman feels trapped, she can re-empower herself as a single divorcee still being able to date around at 50 years of age.
Oh and one more thing, I actually dislike reading the Huffington Post because of articles like this. The fact that an opinion article made it to the front page is a little weary for my taste. HP is usually too gossipy for me. I much rather prefer the Wall Street Journal even though it may be a little dry. I guess I like well sourced information as opposed to opinion columns that might make me upset.
Sorry for the long-winded response, I thought the blog post was thought provoking and I hope people decide to give you more thought out answers.
linconnuedeindochine.blogspot.com
I know that the post was not in english, but i writed thati also had mu brushes in a cup!
So it’s even more funny now knowing that there are more people doing the same thing…
And I totaly agree with you, by the way!
Kisses
You are so right! And thanks for writing it, I also believe in marriage and it should not be based on a contract but love, eternal love and commitment!
xoxo
Catita
http://catindreamland.blogspot.com/
Wonderful, thought provoking post! Marriage will never work if the couple getting married isn’t committed to making the marriage last.
I do agree with you — marriage should not have a contract. It is a huge step and one that should be made because there is a true love and respect between two people — not just for fun. However, I do feel like a lot of people don’t take this commitment seriously (aka celebrities) and they get married after five minutes of knowing each other, so perhaps in those cases a contract would work? Thanks for posting this I’ve never heard of it before and I found it very interesting. And I love that clip from Up — such a sweet couple and something I would love too 🙂 xo
following — visit soon!!
http://dressedupallligators.blogspot.com/
so true, so sad. i wish our society didn’t focus so much on the negative, but the positive. if they make trial marriages or expiring marriages, they should just not bother with marriages anymore at all. how ridiculous <3shelby
http://www.makemesparkly.com
I agree with you, great statement!
xo,
http://www.clarillapilla.com
Hi! thanks for comment on my blog!!! I adore yours and I’m following you!!!
I do agree with you in your opinnion of the article I believe in marriage and I believe in Love, repect and talking the differences but most of all I bealive in choosing a person to share your life with <3 and choosing that person forever like in the Up movie… it's so sweet 🙂
I love this scene from Up, so touching and cute. I have very unique views on marriage and agree with you on some points for sure. My parents have been together for years and are happy together, so it’s not like I don’t have a great model of a couple making it work, but I’ve always been somewhat pessimistic about long-term love. On top of my parents, I also have a great boyfriend who I love very much and I currently couldn’t imagine anyone better suited to me. Having said that, I’m also a realist (to a fault sometimes). I don’t believe that there’s only one person out there for you…I do believe that there are very, VERY few people who could be called “soul mates”, but that one person can be a soul mate for a period of time and then, for whatever reason, cease to be. Then, somewhere down the road, you might meet another soul mate. I think there are the people like my parents who meet a soul mate and never fall out of it, but at the same time, I think it does happen and that realistically, being bound legally by any type of contract (including a traditional marriage) puts unnecessary pressures on a relationship.
Anyway, I totally see the value in commitment to another person. I just think that ANY type of contract, including typical marriage contracts, put unnecessary pressures on a relationship that, if committed enough, shouldn’t NEED any binding contracts in the first place.
Great post love. Loved hearing your thoughts on this, so well-articulated.
Alexandra xo
http://tovogueorbust.com/
very good post! I completely agree with you!
I am glad to think that there are still people like you
Thanks for your comment in my blog.. I follow yo!
xoxo
I completely agree with what you say. The world is a sad place that is steadily going down hill. Thank you for this post, everyone needs to read it. By the way, love your blog! All the fashion is amazing!
Kimberlin
Oh my a contract?! In my opinion that contract is only to assure the couple that “if it doesn’t work it can be easly undone”, people don’t try anymore we all know relationships aren’t easy it takes work but sadly people have became selfish, individualistic and don’t want to give in. That contract is probably a easer way to break up other than the long and expensive process of divorce. The valours of the society these days are all distorted it seems, if they aren’t sure why marry then? give it more time to see if that’s what they really want or even try to live with the person for some time or even date for a little while why rush things?
I’ve seen and heard so many of married storys gone wrong that i no longer know what to think, but i’m with you i would like my marriage to be like carl & ellie till the end! True love isn’t that what we all want?
truly Loving your blog !:D
Beijinhos**
I totally agree with you! If you decide to get married you’re committing yourself to spending the rest of your life with your partner, but the media is always telling us that is better to take the easy way out…
BTW I loved the clip from UP! It made me emotional because at the end that’s the kind of marriage very girl dreams of. <3